A Recap of the Events of 9/11

Tuesday morning: Suicidal terrorists hijack American airplanes and attack the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and a field in western Pennsylvania.

Later Tuesday morning: Surrounded by school children, President George W. Bush consoles the public at a press conference. “Make no mistake, America will pass the test.” He reminds the country that a D is a passing grade.

Noon Tuesday: Videotapes show Palestinians dancing in the streets. PLO leader Yassar Arafat issues a statement expressing his sorrow to America and President Bush over the country’s “terrible, terrible tragedy” but insists that America is still evil.

Tuesday afternoon: Arafat tells his wife to lose the glasses, says he’s not spending another shekel on her dancing lessons.

Later Tuesday afternoon: In a second press conference, Bush tells Arafat, “We’re not evil, you’re evil.” He vows that anyone known to be harboring terrorists will be punished. “Make no mistake, we will find you.”

Still later Tuesday afternoon: The FBI announces that one of the hijackers lived in the Miami area.

Tuesday evening: Bush threatens to bomb Florida.

Tuesday evening: Authorities point to Usama bin Laden as a prime suspect and release a photo from his high school yearbook. Americans learn that the young bin Laden was a member of the chess club, played JV basketball, and was voted Most Likely to Bomb the World Trade Center.

Still later Tuesday evening: Both houses of Congress release a statement condemning the terrorist acts as “a really, really bad thing.” They gather on the steps of the Capitol to sing “God Bless America.”

Wednesday morning: Attorney General John Ashcroft announces that the hijackings were carried off by 18 men, all of whom were named Muhammad.

Thursday: A suspicious car is removed from the parking lot at Boston’s Logan Airport. The car contains a flight manual written in Arabic, a Koran, and two tickets to the Annual Terrorists Ball.

Friday: Bush joins Billy Graham, military leaders, members of Congress, and former presidents for a prayer service at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. They affirm their belief in God and the Christian virtues of love, justice, and tolerance.

Saturday morning: US fighter planes drop H-Bombs on Afghanistan, Palestine, and England.

Later Saturday morning: FBI sources confirm that the plane to England had been hijacked.